!! help !!


I am trapped in a life full of boys & men. 

They are, individually, perfect.  Nothing wrong there.  However.  I am not handling it well lately.

I do not know what I am doing.  In case I've misled you.  There are so many good days.  Miracle moments are a frequent event.  And I am emotional. I cry easily.  Which makes them think I am devastated.  I look to connect, which makes them think I am invasive.  I pad my home with soft things to keep them comfy & safe.  They respond with backflips & leaps from the window sill. 

Because men have opinions, based on their calculations + their thoughts.  This is also known as preferences.  And in their logical minds, it is very appropriate to empower others with this information. They want to me to be happy & to fulfill on my intention to please.  They trust me to handle whatever they have to say with unconditional love & acceptance.  It's sweet of them, really.  

But...Do daughters do this?   We appreciate a graciousness environment.  Women come to the table with their feelings.  And, as a female, I happen to know that feelings are important to acknowledge, not to be taken as law.  It doesn't seem to be the same with preferences. 

I am inundated with preferences in 4 sizes.  I am looking for a mantra to repeat while I live with this ever-so-temporary-phenomena.  Not the preferences.  The current state of my brain. 

Serve.  Stop.  Listen.  Oh.  Hmm.  I see.  You want what?  How about thank you?   I just...  Okay.  Hmm.  Well why don't you...  Because you can...  I tell you what...  Well.  Tell me what... No scratch that.  Let me tell you what...   Smile. (Not for them.  For me.)  Now. What.  Was I Going to Tell Me?

I'll let you know when I sort it out.