Q. 1 - We live & work in community as a family, many partners, many parents, & many loves. How do we manage the "power couples" that often surface - especially when they aren't "primary couples?" We want to grant space & be a YES, that's why we're here. And, it's scary. There's a certain equilibrium that comes from group equity in relationship & ownership of our decisions + profits.
Q. 2 - As business partners, my husband & I are beginning to fight for resources like siblings. I'm not sure when it happened. I just know it sucks. Our roles are clear, but our visions overlap. The fact that we are trying to protect each other & keep the edification up is messing with my ability to fly.
Q. 3 - As established, beloved & useful as our organization has been (since 1946), it's also been in the same place for 20 years. I've been in the role of Executive Director for 3 years, but my board is really in the way of creating the changes our community needs, today. The board chair has been in his role for decades, & the entire body is aging out - in my opinion. I'm ready to leverage things to the next level. And I also want to honor my place in the history of things.
In each of these questions, I'm present to your patience, generosity & leadership. You're holding space for others to rise up, to show up, & to find their own way into your vision for what's possible. And there's a frustration over how long it's taking, or how resources are being distributed, + the nature of deliberation over time & space. There's a concern that "if they hold on for much longer, nothing will change, something might go wrong, they might mess with what's been working, or I won't get what I need, at least not fast enough..."
I'm also present to a misunderstanding. They are not holding your vision. They are holding a completely different vision that is equally valid, needed, & important. We need all 7.2 billion for a world that works for everyone. Your patience, generosity & humility are superseding your leadership: you're abandoning your vision each time you don't bring voice to what is possible. So there's an opportunity surfacing - an impulse, to take something over, yes? Or to take charge, to stand, to show up, yourself, in a more direct way. It doesn't mean you can't retain the humility you have been working with. One thing that comes thru is your respect for being "right-sized," in the larger group dynamic.
Lake (9) & Kai (7) found a kestrel nest on our property, about 70 feet up. Somehow I never identified the call, a high-pitched kee! which has been a constant for decades. Kestrel is a tiny falcon, & visually sublime. She's both elegant, in slate blues, stripes + rust, & scrappy, finding her home in abandoned nests & tree cavities. Her gesture? Laser-accuracy, speed, lucid mental focus, concentration, grace, patience, precision, & timing.
SHE'S ALL ABOUT INTUITIVE CHARISMA, IN THE FORM OF PRECISE ACTION AT THE CORRECT MOMENT.
You know what there is to do, if only the "others" were to show up differently. How would you have them show up? How would you have them act? And then, what would you do?
Do you see how you are asking them to either grant you permission, get out of the way or cease to exist? This an obstacle on your path, that's shifting into a gateway to your expanded leadership. It's time for you to focus in on what you would do. Make the list.
Spar & Annie, my little kestrel loves at the Davis Raptor Center, are silent, and incapable of hunting, because they were raised by humans. We know this because of their desire to turn to others for both food & shelter. They've been domesticated. They have a middle man between themselves & their ability to be self-led. They have been silenced into a dependency that has no partnership, boundaries, clear roles, or equity.
In relationship, Kestrel invites you to explore your need sufficient independence, alone time, & autonomy. There's a deep desire for strategizing, planning & diplomacy that's at play, & you can use your "pause," to nail down the specifics of your intention. Get quiet. Check in:
-In the question regarding marriage, partnership & competition, you are letting domestica silence your huntress. The middle man is the middle ground where you are protecting each other from your personal power, which is really a form of self-abandonment, & withholding your full expression. Take care of your own nourishment, & let him be the gift of witness, companionship & partnership where your visions overlap. Just remember that your vision is up to you, & you have his support when you inspire it. And his vision is his own, & clarify who you are for him in that vision.
-In the question regarding "power-couples" & "community equity," there's a clear invitation to sink into the fear, the concern over what is happening. You know this work. There's also, within you, an invitation to rise into your own power. THERE IS NEVER ANYTHING WRONG WITH POWER. JUST FORCE. So what's needed? Sacred boundaries? Space for the power to move thru, & to transform your business + community life? More leadership? More clarity? New communication, some assurance, & fresh agreements? Trust?
-In the question regarding the "old guard," step into your role fully. Three years is a long time to be letting the board run the show. You are sitting in a position with expansive views of your movement. Kestrel sits on poles, wires, & perches, high above her nourishment, & when the timing is right, she swoops in & takes care of business. Her medicine is the strengthening of your mental agility, focus, & intuitive precision. She's ready for you to take action. So is your movement.
Bring Kestrel's gesture to the table: don't think it thru. You know, in your body, what will be most nourishing. Falcons only hover once they've identified their work & swooped closer to the surface. They are masters of choice, feeling into their wingspan, & maximizing their skills.
Take on a practice of moving with deft accuracy. In any given situation, what is the most exquisite, graceful action you can take? How fast can you take it? Practice this daily & see if you can connect to the source of charisma in your body. Where are you most present, most focused, & most generous?
CHARISMA HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HOW YOU LOOK, OR SEEM. IT'S THE PRESENCE YOU BRING TO THE MOMENT.
ARE YOU WHERE YOU ARE, DOING WHAT YOU ARE DOING? THAT'S CHARISMA.
You'll notice it's a gesture, not just a place. It's like a sentence your body makes in space. There's no right way to do this, it comes with practice, & it's unique to you.
YOU'LL KNOW WHEN YOU HIT IT, BECAUSE YOU'LL FEEL KESTREL'S FOCUS WITHIN, MOVING FROM YOUR SHOULDERS, DOWN TO THE TIPS OF YOUR FINGERS.
Now you can choose when to act, & when not to.
You don't have to be patient when you know when to strike. You don't have to strike because you aren't sure you'll be fed. Kestrel is gifting you a new awareness of your rhythms, so you can operate in alignment with right-timing. Part of her beauty is in the pointedness of her wings. Use these to feel into the energy fields of those around you. You'll know when to fly for the highest good of those around you.
Your flow is interdependent on those you live & work with. With full, laser-lucid presence, you can grasp the opportunities that only you see, for the greatest elevation & expansion of everyone involved. They'll be elated. Promise.