We all have to walk thru our initiations. The quality is up to us.


Q1 As a collaborative, I feel like we're having to repeat lessons I've already learned on my own. My partners are on a different learning curve, & it's incredibly frustrating. At the same time, they're incredible & we obviously need them.

Q2 It's so humbling going into business with my romantic partner, who's so much more experienced than me as a founder. Even though my Etsy & Society 6 shops have done very well over the years, it's hard for me to trust my instincts & feel confident in my roles here. He keeps asking me to think like a creative executive, which feels overwhelmingly different than a creative director.

Q3 This video triggered a huuuuuge desire in me to identify who I am as a beacon.

I have no idea who I am in this way, and I'm overwhelmed with trying to piece it together. I've been wrestling with identity for a while now, and feeling like I have nothing to offer... so I'm wondering if you have any suggestions on clarifying and getting serious about finding this truth for myself.

(I'm also in the midst of an incredibly huge turning point of my life, with cutting out my emotionally abusive and toxic father... so many realizations and paradigm shifts and loads of healing occurring, but I don't even know who the fuck I am.)

I could so use any direction on owning my power here. 


* * *

The other night we sat outside with our closest local friends, in the dark, cold & silence. Well, mostly silence; Neil Koehler was playing acoustic guitar, which anchored us to summers at his Oregon farm & brewery. It was a Winter Spiral, where we each, in turn, walk a pine, crystal, shell-&-bone laden path towards a a raised candle at the center. It's kinda hard, walking in the dark like that, with large awkward objects strewn about. And there's community present, which the ego reads as an audience. So, you know. Best not fall. 

We spiral in alone, carrying a virgin candle, breathing in the night, & feeling into our familiars without the noise of conversation or personality. There's something so relieving about the whole thing to me. Being held without the distractions of image, remembering who we each are, without the static of individuality or social dynamics, and being unified in the humbling act of walking in the dark. When we reach the center, there is the task of retrieving light. It's not easier for the adults, or the teens, than it is for our 4th & 2nd graders. {We are just less likely to catch fire} There's a sense of rooting for each other, along with a myriad of other feelings, like secretly grieving & celebrating a long year in the company of loved ones. There's some completion & compassion that happens for me, when those I don't love walk the spiral, in the dark, alone, & then, glimmering, spiraling out, in a way that's care-full, only to leave some light on path for the rest. 


As we brighten the field this way, there is a certain, & definite belief in magic. 

As we sit with darkness, there is a intimate collapse with the Eternal, that sometimes brings a resilience and faith that shapes our capacity as conduits. {Never mind the miracles}

* * *


Beacons are simply the quality of your light & the shape of your conduit. You may be spiraling in, still. Walking in some darkness.  Not all of the time. But right now. For this, current initiation. For this: this-right-now-iteration-of-you-becoming. I am, too. 

I'm walking towards the glimmer. I'm treasure hunting.


But please don't mistake the light for the treasure. Sometimes it is. But mostly, it's the dark. It's mystery, the unseen, the unknown parts that hold truths beyond our understanding.


It's the conscious spiral into the dark that offers the initiation. Sure, we could go in & just fix things. Our whole society is fixed on just turning on the lights. We have no problem sawing into our skin to remove dis-ease without distinguishing the root cause. Unfortunately we also miss the discovery, the meeting of deep roots & inner resources. In those cases we are not in initiations, we are in hardships. As a thought-leader, you must be one who walks thru your initiations. Alone, even in the company of others. My wish for you is the company of beloveds, even though they aren't collecting the same treasure, or stumbling over the same obstacles. They are your pathmates in their commitment to your soul's evolution. (Wow)

The Beacons are what you retrieve to light the way for others. But you don't go for them. You go for you. To brush shoulders with Spirit.


There's a couple of questions, sure, the same questions: So what is calling you? What is the color of the glimmer you seek? What does it sound like? Who's face will it light? Who do you want to see, sitting there, with you, when the field brightens? What do you want for them?  But really, it's the initiation, that forms the important questions.


Your initiatives & partnerships have their own initiations, because your work has it's own expression coming thru the collective. This is *communal alchemy.* As you are creating & impacting the whole together, you must walk thru together newly. The gentlest perspective is gentleness. Be forgiving, & compassionate. Be curious, about what's happening. Be fierce & stay on path.


Again, you can't think your way thru it. You must make your way in the dark.

We are treasure hunting.


This Dark Moon, this time, right now, is the Dark Moon for the following year. An astral pre-menstrual period, if you will. We are stumbling over the best kinds of truth. Course-correcting. Capturing learnings for the next cycle. There are good bones to your work. Medicine, bone broth for your community. There's gems, real, honest-to-goodness precious metal to light the way. This is true up thru the New Moon on the 11th, & until the Solstice, on December 22nd. (For main stream society, it happens for a minute respite, after the shopping bustle right in time for resolutions, kazoos & bubbly.)

For those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, we do this by gathering in the dark, coating our throats with ciders and warm infusions, & holding hands in the safe silence of candlelight. Here's a bit of perspective from the Southern Hemisphere. All of us can be alone with ourselves, sifting thru life's lead for bits of copper, gold & pewter. A few ways I love...


Locate the New Moon-to-Solstice Sunset & Sunrise Points in your home or neighborhood. Mark them.


It's so magical to waken just for this chance, to learn your sacred "stonehenge" moments, & to mark their places in your life, whether it's a clear line you draw on a windowsill (do it in red, peacock or bronze nail varnish), a crystal to hold the spot, a star you paint on your driveway where you all stand with mugs of cocoa, a hilltop seat or a distant tree. It immediately shifts your perspective in place & time, & creating a subtle compass as the sun moves thru the sky each day, always landing further or closer to your points.


Cedar-Rosemary Bath


This bath is clearing, calming & uplifting. We have a cedar tree, but any evergreen works. Together they relieve depression or Winter blues, colds, flu, stomach aches & headaches. 

Mix equal parts dried rosemary & dried cedar. Place in a cloth tea bag or disposable paper tea bags (the kind you iron closed). Place in bath as you fill the tub. Soak in the dark, or light a candle. 


Burn a Night-Long Fire


To close the year in warmth & company. We did this the other night with my mom. We spent a cold day out, & she brought Korean food for dinner.  Lake made a fire, the lights turned off, the boys piled up around her, & we celebrated what works, slumber-party style. In Iran, they burn these all-night fires to assist the battle between darkness & light. In your case, it's to assist the presence of darkness & light. To savor it.


Build a Spiral, a Labyrinth or Medicine Wheel of Natural Objects


It can be tiny or mighty, of pine cones, branches or even salt. This can be done in community, alone, with children, or a beloved. It can be done in at full light or under the stars, with a central candle, a lit path, or lanterns around the exterior. Each one is a unique moment with a special & precious cure to offer your season. Tracing the path reminds us of our place in the larger cycles, to consider the healthiest actions or restraints for the lunacy phase. While it all sounds so serious, this is a playful & exquisite ritual that's best done spontaneously.


Celebrating Your Ways,